...

wanna say thanks to the dearies still reading this.. really appreciate it..
but today.. nothing to say..the pain is killing me so much...i feel dead..

punchie!

my day? not too bad..went for class..yea..the type of class u wanna sign up for after watching Rocky Balboa.. haa..not really actually...more of TomYUm(yumY!)GonG... =) suddenly feel like punching someone now..hmm..
think muscles will ache badly tomorrow...(if there are any muscle that is..) ..my injured leg..beet better..but the blueblack from that bike fall..badddd...bleh..

was thinking bout the things I need n wanna buy .. MANZ..a whole lot! din buy any CNY clothes le...so I guess this shall be the "pay-back!"...shall slowly do my conquest...wahhaahaa...oh yea, at least ive gotten the bottle I wanted...yay! *thanks babe! =)*
let's check out the list...

1. new ear phones...good nice one?..my ipod ones going to koyak soon...
2. new swim suit... yes i need one ...that is nice..duh! cos the sun is OUT!!!
3. new handphone...ve been with this obiang one for a long time since my Walkman one got stolen!!..(*silently curse...*) but..dunno which model yet..gotta find one that is very ME!! the colour..the design...must be me me type..haa..(whatever that means...)
4. new sandals...wan a nice nike one le.. but can't seem to find a good n nice one..my current nike one..is...erm...disfigured n unseenable... been like years lor...
5. new running shoes... doc says I need a good proper one..(am a slight over-pronator.so gotta get proper ones ...if not..MORE knee, ankle..blahblah problems...)
6. new slippers... cheapskate one can do...but it gotta be slip-proof man....my current 5 bucks one..nice but the bottom damn hopeless..the number of times I slipped??...let's not talk about it...
7. new....hmm..can't think of a good one yet.. Ill update soon!

hmm..supposed to be motivating le....ya..motivated now..to rob a bank..haa.. makes things easier...sheesh.
sleepy la peepz..gota go..nite!

with metta....

2nd thoughts..

tot bout wat I thought yesterday..realised it's kinda dumb.. how can u ever know it's a sure win if love's a gamble.. oh well..
when I asked my mum, isn't it sad if one marries someone he/she doesn love at all.. was told not everyone's that lucky..and why the hell am I thinking so much when I don't even have a boyfriend...fancy talking bout marriage n old-age life.. sheesh.
actually..think im a loser in rlshps stuff.. remember someone once told me.."for a lover..tink u cannot make it lor..too complicated.. " huh...actually up till now..i still dunno wat that means..and I was kind of too hurt to ask.. sigh.. I guess im the cannot make it type?


u ever reach a stage where u hold back..in letting others really know u.. like u are afraid they will leave u once they know about you.. friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc... and then u think ..if they are true friends..they won't leave....yet..u are afraid still.. u don't dare to take the chance.. wat will u do? are u the type who is not afraid of how others see u... or are u the type who rather not risk it

oh yea..wanted to add on to yest. l.o.v.e stuff.. it's from the show Mexican...(Brad Pitt n Angelina Jolie..*drool drool..*) It makes so much sense to me, Ill never forget it..
U know how we all have a threshold of things... patience, stress n all.. we have a limit... we know when enough is enough. u can't take it anymore..u call it quits..
but in Love..when u really love somebody...how do you know when enough is enough...??
answer....never...
guess that's unconditional love...n loving someone for who he/she is..

ps BF dearies: Ajahn Brahm's story bout the chicken n duck....really made good sense to me..ill never forget that either...

alrite..tink im getting a little too eww...all this lovey stuff ...ppl haf a threshold of it too.. oh well. u take care peepz..good care huh..

with metta...

L.O.V.E

okay..it's final..im seriously totally n pathetically injury prone.. i mentioned my silly heel/ankle pain recently..it's not getting better since a month ago... saw a sinseh yesterday...said a vein's strained n causing the pain..will take time to heal...(duh! it's been like a month!!!)
anyway..he wrapped up my ankle with some smelly (and I really mean SMELLY..) medicinal plaster...gosh..anyone would have fainted when I removed it this afternoon... either tat..or anyone fainted would have so woke up.. darn smelly lor.. ewww..

yup...heel ankle pain...knee prob also coming back..n guess wat..I fell off my bike juz now.. sigh. yea..was trying out my new "achievement"- stunt... actually it aint really a stunt...but I juz managed to successfully cycled up a slope without sitting down! okay..i guess prob half the population can do it..but hey.. it's damn cool right! (u know how ppl stand up while cycling..yea..it helps when u go up a slope...makes it darn easier lor...)
so there I was...trying to do it again..n my stupid feet gave way...so ..yup..fell off the bike... sheesh..

anyway...it's been quite a week...feeling quite down..so did wat I usually do when my stupid leg's injured and makes me running-deprived.. went for a bike ride .. (i meant bicycle lor...) it's really nice..esp at night..n it always gets me tinking bout stuff while i ppl-watch...

was riding down pasir ris park... manz.. was kinda suffocating since there were really lotsa bbqs..it's the sch hols la... n yea..as i rode along... saw some young couples ( I mean reealy young like sec 2 types...) u know how u used to act during those days... tryin to be shy..but definitely not... haa.. young peepz falling in love...
then down the park... I saw a young family... father, mother n children...riding bikes too..having family time I guess.... ... it got me thinking.... now..this is definetly not puppy-love..and definetly requires lotsa more work too...
then..... i saw wat I always tot is the sweetest thing in the world... an old couple...in their 60s,70s.. taking a stroll n holding hands... ive always admire n envy such couples...theyve been tru heaven..been tru hell..been tru all kinds of shit together... who can beat that.. and I was certain..THAT is true love... *awwwww* how sweet right...

acually was kinda freaky la...was like riding down a life-line lor..bleh. haa..
n the funny ting..I was listening to radio while riding... while listening to 98.7...heard some "romantic" dedications by some teenagers...then while listening to class 95 (yes , I change channels ALOT...short attention span..) there were really sweet dedications from married couples... sheesh...tonight's a really lovey dovey night lor.. *goosebumps bumping...*

started tinking... they say love is a gamble.. u tink so? I think so.. how would u know if u will end up marrying the one u love now.. or then again some ppl end up marrying someone they don't love...that's sad... Ive always dream to end up as 1 of those really sweet old couples I see....my fear? probably to end up old n alone I guess...sigh. haa..actually then again...maybe ill get a toyboy if i were to be tat pathetic.. *JOKE!*

if love is a gamble...how do you know when is the right gamble? and what if, for more than once, u have gambled before n lost all u had... how do u gather the guts to gamble again?

some say love is a game...a game of win-lose..? u sure? i dun tink so. I tink love should be a game of win-win...wat's the point of being in love if 1 will lose? getting a toy boy is much easier!

When will u know when to take the step n to gamble again...to entrust the person with ur heart ..to remain faithful...to believe that he/she will be there for u...for better n for worse..
I guess my parents know.. they are really 2 different ppl if u were to listing their characters.. but wat's in common to keep the marriage alive n burning hot... their commitment to the vows they took... their belief in making a marriage work out is never easy..n requires a hell lot of patience n work... their determination to last forever... their love for each other..simple as that...

love...is a unique thing..it does wonders...it can melt a person's heart..it can also break someone's heart.. it is something that ppl live for...nobody wants a world without love...
they say ...tat when u have that someone... u will know..u will just know it...
really? then i wanna know..i wanna know tat it's for sure..

love..is unbelievable.

with metta(L.O.V.E)

no plans..wat plans..

heY peepz..how's everyone doing..CNY's over...finally! so glad... but yea..no more angpows.. oh well...
time seriously flies..it's March already lor! this is scary..soon ill be 60! wat the.. eew.
my ankle's not recovering...it's hurting like mad.. swollen like mad as well. sigh..been so long already...almost a month n more.. ..dunch tink it's smtg very serious though..since I can still walk...limp I mean.. haa. hopefully it'll get well soon.. cos I really miss a good run!!!

lotsa tings happening with ppl around me..makes me tink a lot..and makes me wonder bout some stuff too.. all too complicated..life's really complicated..no wonder life's a bitch..haa.
feel like doing smtg silly now....dun ask me wat..juz maybe smtg stupid.. ill blog again when I tink of smtg good. =)

can't wait to catch Music n Lyrics...Hugh Grant..*drools..*.. heard Pursuit of Happiness's pretty good too..Will SMith n Jr. sounds interesting..anyone caught it yet? tag board le!

tink i need a dosage of a good enlightening dharma talk.. miss my bf dearies too! how u guys doing man... miss those days..jus miss u guys la! haa. okok, hope to catch u all sometime soon..

big plans @ home.. not really mine though...yea some biz @home stuff.. tink my parents are seriously excited n enthu about it lor.. im not really into it..but oh well..my support for them of course!! n if it makes big money...im all for it! =) Im a practical pig..yes.

alritey..going off...can't wait to have big plans to post... which I have absolutely no idea about..not even a hint.well, okay maybe my aussie trip but otherwise..nothing!!!
*cross fingers* plans..good big plans..pls fall on me...

with metta....me me metta...

burst-ed again..

smtg stupid jus happened again.. felt really lousy...was smtg trival...but it sparked off all the feelings I tried to supress each time smtg simliar happens.. it's hard to explain.. nv mind..since nobody else will understand it anyway..
why do some ppl just totally know how to burst every small bit of self-esteem u haf, even when there wasn much to begin with in the first place.. they just make u feel like u can never be good enough for them.. or for them to be happy.. felt so pathetic.. felt like I don't even need to try because no matter wat..it won't be wat they want. yet why do I bother to try all the time..sux. this feeling sux.

sometimes I really envy ppl who aint bothered by wat ppl think..wat ppl feel..wat ppl say bout them.. least they won't get hurt tat easily, aint it? (I think I said this before...darn..sorry Im boring u..)
guess im just too lousy.. get affected by stupid stuff that probably won't mean much to others.. aye.this sux.ve been feeling like this ever since godknows when.. oh yes..ever since I was born ..plus a few years on. sheesh. forget it. Ill be over it soon. i hope. just let me grumble.

oh yea..the rain spell's on again.. not very helpful I guess.. everywhere's freakin cold..wet.. n messy. it's only good when u are home n sleeping.. haa. if only we could control rain....ooo..tat would be cool..i probably will never activate it...

listening to Boyz2Men songs now...n realise they actually sound kinda whiny..haa. yea...on bended knees esp.... whiny... sounds like me. =) (ya..stop nodding..I get the point..but no I won't stop..)

miss coffee today..din get any .. no good company with me to haf a nice cuppa.. =)
my coffee yest was esp. good..sweet.. yea... all thanks to...STARBUCKS.... haa.. =P I like Rwanda beans..nicey.. ...ya ..n had sweet company to make it even better... =)

wanna watch Music n Lyrics....HUGH GRANT dammit.. good enough reason.. haa.. he's the only actor tat actually looks damn sexy without having to comb his hair lor... tell me who else can beat him... ah but he has this boring minister look.. BORING... oh well.. I like boring ...but I hate being bored.. (ok..this doesn't make any sense at all..)

sigh..lousy night...hope it gets better tomorrow.. I shall watch my Ally... it should cheer me alittle. nite peepz.

with metta...I need lots of it...