burst-ed again..

smtg stupid jus happened again.. felt really lousy...was smtg trival...but it sparked off all the feelings I tried to supress each time smtg simliar happens.. it's hard to explain.. nv mind..since nobody else will understand it anyway..
why do some ppl just totally know how to burst every small bit of self-esteem u haf, even when there wasn much to begin with in the first place.. they just make u feel like u can never be good enough for them.. or for them to be happy.. felt so pathetic.. felt like I don't even need to try because no matter wat..it won't be wat they want. yet why do I bother to try all the time..sux. this feeling sux.

sometimes I really envy ppl who aint bothered by wat ppl think..wat ppl feel..wat ppl say bout them.. least they won't get hurt tat easily, aint it? (I think I said this before...darn..sorry Im boring u..)
guess im just too lousy.. get affected by stupid stuff that probably won't mean much to others.. aye.this sux.ve been feeling like this ever since godknows when.. oh yes..ever since I was born ..plus a few years on. sheesh. forget it. Ill be over it soon. i hope. just let me grumble.

oh yea..the rain spell's on again.. not very helpful I guess.. everywhere's freakin cold..wet.. n messy. it's only good when u are home n sleeping.. haa. if only we could control rain....ooo..tat would be cool..i probably will never activate it...

listening to Boyz2Men songs now...n realise they actually sound kinda whiny..haa. yea...on bended knees esp.... whiny... sounds like me. =) (ya..stop nodding..I get the point..but no I won't stop..)

miss coffee today..din get any .. no good company with me to haf a nice cuppa.. =)
my coffee yest was esp. good..sweet.. yea... all thanks to...STARBUCKS.... haa.. =P I like Rwanda beans..nicey.. ...ya ..n had sweet company to make it even better... =)

wanna watch Music n Lyrics....HUGH GRANT dammit.. good enough reason.. haa.. he's the only actor tat actually looks damn sexy without having to comb his hair lor... tell me who else can beat him... ah but he has this boring minister look.. BORING... oh well.. I like boring ...but I hate being bored.. (ok..this doesn't make any sense at all..)

sigh..lousy night...hope it gets better tomorrow.. I shall watch my Ally... it should cheer me alittle. nite peepz.

with metta...I need lots of it...