big island with big bugs n flies...

HaPPY ChinESe New YeaR! iT's the PiG babe YeaR..MY year =) ------------------------------->>>>

been a while since my last post..lotsa things happenin..and im still trying to catch my breath.. lots of thoughts..lots of feelings.. it's all so fast n scary at times...
the happy times ive had..the times I feel myself..the times I see myself..i miss it. haven had that feeling for sometime...ppl that can make u feel that way.. that is a treasure.. =)
then the scary stuff starts coming back..makes u pause..makes u wanna retreat.. u dun wan to fall in it again.. this crazy thing..life..

oh yea, CNY was quite "unCNY"..well the usual one is always waking up early n going visiting ..the same stuff... making small talks with relatives n friends u prob only see each new year... it's kinda ..err..can't find the word for it..but u get my point.
this year...spent it in Mysia..yea..how cool. haa. some little small island they call pulau besar (which means BIG in malay..) kinda ironic cos im pretty sure if u actually gather all the human inhabitants of the island.. u can line them up and they won't exceed the length of an MRT... i tink. hmmm. yea.. it's somewhere near Mersing..near Tioman..

was a nice short break...snorkelled a little... crap a lot.. got burnt..and SUPER terrorised by sand flies...bed bugs...mosquitoes ..and prob some unheard of insects... looking at the bites on my legs now...i guess ill have to give up my shorts n skirts already.. sheesh.

kinda sad week though... last one @ work..no more kopi girl... miss the ppl..miss the place.. if any of u a2 peepz is reading this..u guys rock! =) gotta move to find another job...(ya..again! stop roling ur eyes ...)
I gotta start making money roll in soon... got to support my Aussie fund.. few more months for me to buck up. was supposed to go early this year...but look..it's already FEB!! sheesh... but Ill make sure Ill get my ass there by end year... yes..my ass ... =P

hmm..to sum it up..my heart n mind were on a rollercoster ride these 2 weeks.. ah. shall stop thinking..it's making me nuts. think of the nice =) think of the good..think of the sweet =) *wink*

with metta..lots n lots of it...

tell me it will be okay..

these few days' been kinda fun...well at least some smiles are back.. laughter's real.. maybe cos the rain's gone..n the sun is my lady luck! =>
but today..got me thinking bout some stuff....
haf u ever reach a point where u don't know wat to do, and u just can't seem to trust wat u want.. its like being betrayed before n u don't want to be made a fool again.. but somehwere inside u still hope.. u want to believe it can be good...

if u had a really bad accident on an escalator..ull prob not dare to take any after that.. if u ve been bitten by a snake before.. u get hysterical each time u see one after that...
a cup that means a lot to u...but has many cracks from dropping too often.. u will probably take extra care of it.. or do you not care? I will care. and Ill be afraid it will drop again. am I strange? or that probably sounds stupid to u.. i guess u won't get it..if uve never been hurt too many times.
oh well ..

let's talk bout smtg today.. wat is ur definition of fidelity or infidelity? I realised a simple word like tat means totally different stuff to different ppl.. was talking bout it with my friends n gotten different true opinion... let's see which type u belong to..

1. u ain't betraying ur partner if it's just a fling.. if no "sexual" contact or watsoever it's not considered infidelity.. thinking bout someone else while being with another is not considered being unfaithful.

2. u r only unfaithful if u decide to continue seeing another person while in a rlshp (2timing)..

3. unfaithful is when ur thoughts are always about someone else rather than the one u are with.. (this is usually found ridiculous by guys... wat do ya think? )

4. unfaithful is when u haf "indecent" thoughts about someone else u know ( not talking bout models etc.) while being attached.

5. (this is the best..) having flings here and there while in a rlshp is still considered faithful if u still love ur gal/guy and wants to be with her/him. flings are nothing significant..... (what the????)

trust me..i m not making this up.. aint u surprised how different we all think? haa. oh well.. juz smtg to think about..

alright..darn tired. take care guys.

with metta..

Harbour-Back memories...

running fever, stomach hurts, body aching...doc diagnosed it stomach flu... manz I feel lousy!!

ah..tat prob sums up how Ive been lately? hee. yea.. think it's the weather ..everyone's getting the flu n stuff. from all rainy to all sunny and hot. well, I won't complain cos I honestly prefer the sun to rain... ANYTIME! =)

things aint looking too good, having some probs bugging me but I can't post it.. too complicated to do so.. =P yea, sheesh I know.

anyway...spent the evening today at VivoCity..checking it out for the 1st time! yes...very suaku since almost the whole world has been there or smtg...
so huge ..the place...but tot it was kinda empty though... spacious is probably what u would call it.. haa. many many shops.... good for shopaholics who's into stuffs frm places like Forever21, GAP, MANGO etc.. not really my type though.. bleh. haa.

oh but I like the "outside" zone... err..dunno what they call it... the non-aircon zone where u can get to see Sentosa on the opposite end.... I stood there for a good 15 minutes.... reminiscing some nice memories... used to go there almost every other day during my JC days.. (it was the nearest escape to hang out...) tat place was way more pathetic during those days.. only Macs, KFC, some wulu restaurants which kept changing... n practically nobody hung out there except us..

I think the best memories were the ones I will never forget.. sitting at the riverside..looking at Sentosa...feeling the breeze...hearing the waves... with the company of a someone I loved.. n still miss.. n I remember the rooftops "escapes" too... having heart2heart talks.. laughing, crying.. that place means a lot.. hmmm.. *smiles* I wonder how he's doing... I hope he's loving someone who loves him looads! =)

Hmm..actually..come to think of it...that riverside doesn't really only reminds me of nice stuff... have really horrible times spent there too.. urgh. that was before the nice stuff happened ...

bcos of some jerk, much crying n heartbreaking moments took place there ... but Im grateful for the wonderful friends who stood by me..hearing me out...empathising with me..(even though I was really BLIND....) n never gave up comforting me...(I don't know where they got their patience..)..

yea.... when I finally woke up frm that whole incident...I realised how stupid I was... how blind...and how naive... when they say "Love is blind" ...trust me..sometimes it can get too far..
jerk.

oh well...ill forget the lousy stuff n tink of the nice ones... =)
hmm. u know what I feel like doing now... run away n leave on a jet plane!!!! haa..yes it's so me.. I so wish I could just pack a bag n GO!!!! anywhere... Cambodia.. Nepal.. Thailand.. n BAHAMAS..DAMMIT! that break is gonna do me good.. i need to think bout my life... n sort it out. it's totally in a mess.. (stop nodding. I know.)

okay..im gonna koink out already...it's tiring to be sick..

with metta...