skinny-dippin anyone?

feeling kinda stoned now. came back from nite shift (we call it graveyard shift..) today..tried to sleep..but cdnt.. tossed n turned ard on bed ..then gave up. been happening these few days..no wonder I feel so stoned.. body's numb.. brain's dead..almost. I so need a break.. I shall not think about havin to work tomorrow. hope I can survive...

tot about life these days..as in my life.. wondering what Im doing...wondering if I should be havin an aim to work towards..or a path I wanna lead.. bcos I feel like I ve been walking a path before..and then somewhere somehow I stopped , and ended up walking round n round the same place..without knowing where Im heading to..and not knowing which direction to head now. so...I juz go back to going round n round....

inside me...im secretly hoping there will be someone to pull me out of this "shit" and show me the way.. the way to happiness.. oh yea...n then when I think about it.. there probably is no "right" way to live life..no "right" path... n yes I know..loads of ppl will say..happiness is now...
yea..I can say that too..easier said than done huh.

anyhow.. was also "reminiscing" the days I had in KL.. alone in my little warm nest.. though it was kinda lonely in a way..but I miss it.. the freedom I suppose... cd do what I wanna do..dance ard like Im Britney Spears (*puke*) in my room..scream out of the balcony at the lagoon in front... sleep naked (heh.. u think so? ) .. it was all so fun!

well, of course I did get bit lonely at times.. but it wasn long before I got back to enjoyin the freedom..heh. the lousy part was prob the cleaning...had to sweep, mop my room..wash my clothes.. dry them..keep them.. fold them..blah blah. u get the point.
hmm.. I guess there will never be such an experience in my life again! so glad it happened though... it was a darn good experience..
kinda hoping I have a chance to do tat again though..maybe somewhere in New York..NZ..London or smtg.. the independent thingy..it's so addictive. haa.

oh yea.. was talking to my friend bout wantin to go for a holiday somewhere.. so craving for a sunshine holiday.. were talking bout the places to go... Maldives..Mauritiaus.. Hawaii...n if I could... go skinny-dipping somewhere in the Bahamas.. heh.. and cross my fingers I won't meet anyone I know. =) OOoohOoo

oh what the hell, I think Im seriously lack of sleep, excuse my rubbish.. (but Im not kiddin abt Bahamas though..) heh. okay. maybe I should go get a walk in the park..clear my bull-shit filled mind.. n hopefully get some sleep tonite.
suddenly realised I haven meditated for like the longest time.. been so busy n tired n all the excuses u can think of. maybe I should do it soon, best way to clear my mind Im told.
goodnite for now..

with metta...