resignation....

Im feeling sad again... so many things I can't tell anyone and so many feelings I need to cope with.. don't even try to ask me why, and start telling me it will help if I let it out. I know it won't help. Trust me, telling will make me more troubled than I already am. but just ur listening/reading my sucky posts is enough to make me feel better. thanks..

you know, sometimes I get so upset over somethings but I don't want to face conflicts with parents...so I end up keeping it inside me. It's ironic...when I keep it to myself to avoid conflicts and quarrels...but they get upset that I don't talk about things, and keep to myself. WHenever there's a conflict, the guilt overwhelmes my entire mind, heart and soul. I can't help it...I would start feeling guilty for being less than perfect..for causing all the pain.. it prob sounds stupid to you.. that's why I don't usually tell...bcos having to deal with the judgement doesn't help.

Don't u face situations where u just would rather keep quiet and pray that the frustration and anger would go away soon? instead of kicking a big fuss out of it... but then sometimes I wish I could just kick a big fuss and get away with it...that way, its easier and more effective to chase away the frustration.... sigh, forget it, these are things the complicated me have to deal with. I won't bore u with stupid thoughts of mine.

Anyhow...how was ur day? Mine was fine (overstatement)... but 1 interesting incident happened though... Went for a swim today...and got "knocked" by a guy... that's why I really hate crowded pools... it totally defeats the purpose of a relaxing swim when u have to "siam" all the times.... It wasn't unusual that happened, so I carried on swimming.
Until......after my swim...guess what? I found a note at my bag...which says "sorry for bumping into you .." I was super amused... not exactly touched...but amused... haa.
this is NOT the first time I got knocked and hit by "splashing" swimmers... but this is definitely THE first time I get an "apology" letter! wow...boy was I impressed... the guy actually took the effort to write a letter?

but then...I wondered how the guy knew where my bag was? hmm..but no, nothing was stolen la. and no the guy wasn't a handsome hunky man.. he was a young student ...I know..cos he wrote it on his JC foolscap... haa. still it was nice of him to write an apology..actually sayin sorry is good enough...unfortunately I seldom get that from "bumpers", not even a response when I apologise...

oh yea, talking about handsome hunky man... I actually saw 1 today! a few hours ago...on a feedle bus.. so I guess he stays nearby... I almost fainted when he boarded the bus. It was just a too good sight to be true... tanned, very nice built (not over done, just totally well-done!), and sporty...haa, u know la, I like this category =)
manz... imagine having such a boyfriend...u could pick a fight with any bugger and he will settle him for u. =) by non-violent means of course. Perfect gentleman!
plus, he din look like the ego ego kind...and his eyes could melt 10 tubs of ice-cream in a sec. *slurp* haa =)

oh yea guys lemme tip u on something...most girls don't get impressed by guys who fight over stupid things... or those who raise their hands and fists and knuckles too often... violent men aint cool..they only scare..because someday u might do that to ur loved ones if u ain't careful.. so be a gentleman always huh!

okay, enough of my dreaming...well but that did help to cheer me up a little. => the weekend's here again...I know it's supposed to be good, but bcos of some reason, Im sighing instead.
nitey sweethearts!


Thank u my friend (7).........

Knew u since I was 13?or 14? through chat channels online! despite only being net-friends, we managed to keep in contact till now! sometimes it amazes me how we managed to get back in contact again when we "lost" contact! haa. u are certainly a net friend Ive known for the longest time! Anyhow, I tink u will know who u are, bcos I wanna thank u for being such a great companion for movies and a 'guardian" while I was in KL.
Thanks for being around and u really made my staying over there more enjoyable. I believe it's fate that we became friends and remain friends for such a long time when we stay a causeway away! haa. well, just wanna wish u all the best in your job and life! must treat ur gf very well huh, and don't forget to invite me for ur wedding! =>